Pondering the Subtle Difference between Quit & Surrender

This statement was posted on my sister-n-laws Facebook page and it got me thinking.

At the Banff Film Fest, a film was shown about 4 guys who adopted wild mustangs and rode from the Mexican border to Canada. The trip had most of the weather elements plus dessert, thick brush, and narrow trails along cliff ridges. After all they had been through, including the loss of one of the mustangs, they finally see the Canadian Border. Then one of the guys decides to quit. He had no physical ailment, his horse was still strong, he simply decided to stop and not cross the border. His friends were furious, confused, dumbfounded. Why would he quit? After all that he had just achieved and all that together they had been through, the border is right there!!! The film never went on to explain why.  I’m guessing for most of us, this demonstrates the meaning of quitting, to stop, to discontinue.  Some would call him a quitter and others would ponder on all the philosophical reasons in which he in the movie says “I can’t explain why.”

For those of you who at any point of your life was a part of a team, how often have you heard a coach yell out “We are not a bunch of quitters!”  And how often a negative connotation is associated with the word “Quitter” What about in life moments, remember in Eat Pray Love when her husband yells at Liz and her divorce lawyer“I said till death do us part…quitter quitter quitter!”

Some things simply need to end. This is how I differentiate between the two. To quit is to simply be done. No more effort. No more thought. Be done with it. If after this, it is still lingering and you are hearing whether it’s a grade school/old school PE teacher, your parent or the high school bully, then look at it in a different mindset.

To surrender. To “let go and let God”. To let your thoughts words and actions be guided by love and then see what happens. This is when I also bring up the idea of intentions and goals.

My career path story included 4 years of working, going back to school and applying to be a physical therapist. My intention was to work with people motivating and empowering them to have a healthy body. My goal was to be a physical therapist. I was already an aerobic instructor, personal trainer and massage therapist. I thought putting all of this together would be a perfect career path for me. Each year I would do more, learn more, accumulate more experience and each year the closest I ever got was on the wait list, 800 applications for 36 openings.

After the 4th year of rejection, my ego was so destroyed because not only did I not get in but I decided to QUIT. I felt everyone looked at me as a loser and a failure so I decided to move and that is how I ended up in CLE. Looking back what I realized I did was SURRENDER. I decided to visit friends in bigger cities and see what felt right. I arrived in CLE and the first visit while working out at a Bally’s I was approached to be a trainer. Then an opening presented itself at another gym. And everything started to fall into place. I still had challenges but they gave me an opportunity to grow and I was being true to my INTENTION, which now 21 years later has expanded to a tag line, Providing the tools and motivation to live your inspired life with nature and wellness. I have combined all my knowledge in fitness, massage, yoga and positive psychology to help others.

I have decided to take the negative connotations out of words such as quit and failure. When you make a decision, almost immediately you get a body sensation that will say Yes! No! or (hopefully not) “OH SHIT!!!”  And in those moments bad judgement or failure occurs, simply look at it as experience.  It may be an athletic endeavor, a job, a relationship or just a task around the house, maybe you need to quit first to free yourself from whatever in order to surrender to whatever. Every now and then we get a little nudge that says “Hey! Do this and see what happens.” The question is, are you even in a place where you notice it.

88 Bikes Volunteer India Endowing bicycles to girls in Purnea, Bihar & Kolkata West Bengal

March 22- April 6, 2015

There are moments in your life when it is a no brainer...Yes! The answer is Yes! How can I help? Tell me what to do.

This is how I feel about 88 Bikes. Founder, Dan Austin has beautifully coined the phrase 'joy-based philanthropy.' Not only does 88 Bikes help others but it creates a "Moment of Happy" as a bike is both fun and functional. 

I was thrilled to volunteer and endow bikes to girls in India who have either been rescued from human trafficking or at risk. The smiles, the hugs, the laughter was priceless.  Now they can get to school to receive and education, they can get to work, they can get to a police officer quick enough to notify them of another girl who needs rescued. Powerful stuff. 

My favorite quote came from Urmi Basu the executive director of New Light Kolkata, "I want you to be in the seat of your own life, looking forward with both hands on the handle bars."

Everything We Do Makes a Difference

Voice of Soles Guest Blog Post
By Deanna Black
Age 48

It is often said we are all running. Running towards something or running away from something.
Liz Ferro is a runner. What began as running away from things has changed to running towards a greater good, running with a purpose and running with the brightest smile on her face entering marathons in 50 states as well as random shorter runs.
Girls with Sole (GWS) was founded because Liz began changing her own life. Realizing how empowering it was, she began sharing what worked for her to empower others to change theirs. And I’m not talking about those challenges that we all face but those challenges we should never have to face particularly as a child.

I met Liz through my fitness friends and had heard about her through talk revolving around races and triathlons in the community. She was the one to aspire to be, the one to keep up with and for the competitive the one to beat. But it wasn’t until I attended one of her LULA (Lacing Up for a Lifetime of Achievement) 5K’s that I really got to know her.

A friend of mine asked me to run in a 5K put on by Girls with Sole, Liz’s organization. During the welcome Liz spoke and I was so impressed with how real she is. No prepared notes, no memorized speech, she spoke from her heart laughing at the moments she got a little tongue-tied. She talked about how Girls with Sole is an organization that teaches girls who have been or currently are in foster care, residential centers, and community programs as a result of being at the wrong place at the wrong time, making poor choices and/or being the victim of another person making wrong choices. Liz was a kid in foster care. Liz was a kid who was sexually abused. Liz was making wrong choices. Liz did get caught in the wrong places at the wrong time. She credited running, fitness and physical activities to not only get her through her own tribulations but over come them. What began as post-traumatic stress disorder has become post-traumatic growth syndrome and this is what she is teaching.

GWS has connected with various programs. Liz and her volunteer coaches show up offering a session of physical exercise and a self-empowerment exercise. I am thrilled to be one of her volunteer coaches. 

For my first session, Liz asked if I would teach a yoga class to a group of girls ages 15-19. I had no idea what to expect and even began to wonder if I could even help. What did I know? I grew up in what I call “Mayberry, white bread, small town, middle class America.” I’d been bullied but nothing like the experiences these girls have been through.
We gathered together and introduced each other not only with our name but also favorite color. Then we said the creed, call and response, shoutin’ it out with a clap and a sway:

We’re Girls with Sole and we’re on the move
We’re strong and proud you can’t stop our groove
We know who we are and who we want to be
We sail through life with resiliency
At Girls with Sole we set goals and believe
If we keep lacing up we will always achieve

I led them through a yoga class and while in warrior pose I spoke of the times that we need to fight both to protect ourselves but also what we believe in. But also if there is at all possible, a way to do it with out causing harm to us or to others. That’s a tough one! After class Liz pulled out a bunch of postcards, stickers, magazine cut outs and markers to make our own inspiration card. Then we went around the room sharing the story behind each of our cards.
Every GWS session is like this. We know the physical as well as mental and emotional benefits to exercise. We know how important trusting human connections are to have. We know the importance of being able to speak and admit your feelings, of being heard. This is GWS. I have heard things that I never thought I would hear such as, “I can’t participate today, I have an injury.” I asked what happened because maybe there is a way I can modify the activity so she could participate. 

“I got grazed by a bullet.” 

What?!?!? This is Ohio!

Though she did not physically participate in the Zumba/yoga class I taught that day, she was in the room taking in the positive tribal energy including the moments of laughter.

Another powerful moment was after another class Zumba/yoga class I taught, Liz had us make Life Maps. One of the girls was sharing her map and admitted that she had “never told anyone that before.” This again is GWS, a safe and trusting environment.
Liz is currently running a marathon in every state to raise money and awareness for Girls with Sole. She is also the author of Finish Line Feeling, an autobiography of herself leading into the inspiration of GWS. All the money raised and donations received are put right back into the organization to provide wellness programs, transportation, running shoes as well as fitness journals and sports bras for the girls. Her vision is one in which each girl views themselves as an athlete. The times we win and find ourselves in the flow or in the zone but maybe more importantly, the times we come in last and what we learned from that experience and what it takes to get back out there again. Liz shares with the girls the times she got knocked down and what it took to get back up.